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Late Day Walk on Disobedient Land

paper words

fall like ashes into the ocean

as the waves punch the helpless sand

dragging it out to sea.

the salt water covers my bare feet and

attempts to over throw my free spirit.

my heart is weak though, and follows with

the gentle harsh breeze throwing tossing my

fire hair all around.

I barely ever wear it down,

but today I have.

birds of the sea yell at me, warning

me of something,  the sword hanging above my

head.

the dome-shaped sky has turned against me the sea.  its gray barriers shock the water

sending bright lights over the beach.

God has removed his hand from the

disobedient ocean.

it pulls me from off my feet and

whips my body with its worn hands.

sand paper hands.

is this the end?

dragged off by… such false beauty.

grasp for air

over and over

only feel water

entering my veins

becoming my being

entering from wince I

came.

my paper words

my whole soul

falling like ashes into the ocean.

*****************************************************************************************************

my body awakes on a distant shore.

your hand pulled me out

from within the storm that I live in.

I dance on sugar sand,

where the waves kiss the shoreline,

and tickle my feet.

and you dance

and I sing for you.

for you saved me from my

storm.

dedicated to my first true love, and the hero of my story,  my God. Thank you.

Tombstone and Trees

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Branch out like a tree
But lock your roots in place
Give your words wings
But wrap them around a weight
Melt your frozen heart just
To freeze it again
Change is just the dull pieces of metal
Clinging in your pocket,
Not something you want to experience.
Look in the mirror and see nothing worth
A piece of change.
I open the door only to
See you sitting in lodge
With
A bunch of dead dudes already
Lying in their graves.

Thanks.

Sunshine Award

Sorry for this being so late, ugh. Before I start I’d like to thank Samm Sanity for nominating me for this. I appreciate it.

So here I go. I’m guessing most of you know the rules already, but if not. You are supposed to answer questions, then nominate ten other people, and give them a set of questions.

1.) A free day to do whatever. Are you sleeping in or terrorizing the poor unsuspecting humans of the outside world?

Sleeping in. The sunlight burns!!!

2. Favorite song/artist to dance to alone?

Hmm. This is a hard one. For when I’m dancing ballet, I go for “Deathbeds” by Bring Me The Horizon, but for more upbeat dancing I go for 3OH!3. They always make me smile.

3. What one thing makes your day a little bit better?

Hearing a good song on the radio before I go to school. It sets the mood for the whole day.

4. What animal would you want to be for a day and why?

I would like to be a falcon, they have no limits.
5. Favorite movie?

Oh, man. I’d have to say probably Pretty in Pink. I can quote the whole entire movie. I love Molly Ringwald also.

6. If you were a doll/figurine, what sort of doll/figurine would you be?

I would probably be Barbie’s sister Skeeter because she’s more realistic. Plus I know no other brand of doll.

7. What person would you love to meet? Living or dead. Real or fictional. No boundaries here!

I wouldn’t mind meeting a number of people. But I would love to meet the guys from Pierce the Veil. I bet they are super cool in person.

8. You’re famous. Why? What are you famous for?

Hopefully for a book I published. If not that probably YouTube, I do enough stupid stuff in order to be YouTube famous.

9. You have one wish. Make it a good one.

I wish to have unlimited wishes.

10. Favorite book/story?

My favorite book is  “Every You, Every Me” by David Levithan. It is a perfect book. (I wouldn’t mind meeting him either).

So, I’m going to nominate who so ever wants to do this. You all make me smile.

1.) If you only had one day to live, how would you spend it?

2.) Favorite Halloween costume?

3.) Favorite winter activity?

4.) If you had to be someone other than yourself, who would you want to trade places with?

5.) the story of your life is going to be a movie, who plays you?

6.) Who are/ were you at school dances? The go-getter or the wall flower?

7.) Least favorite color?

8.) First book you read?

9.) Flying pigs or pigs with gills?

10.) how do you kill time?

You all are welcome to answer some of these questions in the comment if you’d like to.

Apathetic Moment

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I know I haven’t written in a while, a very long while. Life is just too busy sometimes. To hold you over until I can write a full post, here is a tidbit of something I wrote a long time ago.
Please don’t judge this is fetus me. Still growing as a writer.

Ripped pages and broken backs
greet me with their lovely
middle fingers.
Sigh.
I play those songs
over and over
until
The sound drowns into the background.
Interrupted conversations make me close
my mouth
and move onto something else.
For the longest, I stopped writing those pathetic words.
But they keep trying to suffocate me.
I have to say:
I’m sick of it.

First Concert Glory

A couple days ago, I experienced something everyone should for the very first time. A concert. Specifically a Neon Trees concert. I got in free because of a lovely girl on the newspaper staff that gave me two tickets for no reason. It was a great surprise!
So my father and I went, for “bonding” and I must say, I LOVE CONCERTS! The way the beat fills your chest and it runs through your blood vessels. The lyrics surrounding you as your voice becomes one with a crowd and the band. Singing and dancing along with your favorite artists never felt so good until you do it in person. It fills all the empty holes for an hour.
We sat just feet away from Neon Trees ( and I had the option of standing on the floor but my father said he was too old.)
The best part was probably when Tyler Glenn crowd surfed or when they played “Everybody Talks.”
I enjoyed it to no extent.

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I bought an awesome shirt also:

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What was your first concert experience like? Good, bad, ugly?
Tell me how it was!

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Lens to See

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I just recently had a bunch of stuff messing with my life, whether for the good or bad is another story. But one of these glorious things is my new camera.
All summer I worked with my mother and earned my pay, and I saved and saved my money. Then finally on September 4th my father walked through the door holding a giant white cardboard box under his arm. What was within is wonderful. My very own Canon Rebel T5i camera.
I jumped up, put all my AP aside, and unpacked all of it. I couldn’t wait.
I watched the instructional video and played with it some. And man, I’m in love.
Nothing feels better than capturing one moment frozen in time. It’s breath taking.
All I want to do is carry it around and take pictures of people and places, and the chickens in Walmart parking lot. (Another story.)
If only I could get out of this school.

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Ballet is a Beast

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The dance year has started back and we are almost creeping up on the end of the first semester. To tell you the truth, this ballet year is the best yet out of my six years of dance in my current studio.
The other day I took it upon myself to practice my pointe work on my carpeted floor. That’s a lot harder than you would think.
After about twenty minutes if pointe work my feet looked like this:

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I absolutely love the feeling if going on pointe though, it’s that kind of hurt that is addictive. It shows that you are working and striving to get better.

P.s.
Frank Iero, of My Chemical Romance (r.i.p.), released his new album. Make sure you check it out. It’s called Stomaches by frnkiero andthe cellabration.
Enjoy!

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Beginning of a New (School) Year

I have written in a long time, and I’m very sorry for this. But I have an excuse, and a very good one at that. School started back up and it’s been my hardest year yet. It might have to do something with the fact I have my two least favorite classes first semester, Algebra 2 honors and Chemistry honors, and that I don’t have my favorite class, English, until next semester! But you know, whatever.

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Anyways, I am now on the Newspaper staff at my high school and I am now a columnist. So that is an upside. I figured I would share my first column with you lovely people at read my blog.
Here it is:
No Peanuts, No Problem
I’ve been allergic since birth. My mom has always told the tale of how I would break out if someone who had strong perfume on touched me. She gave me an affectionate nick name reflecting my sensitivity: “Little Green House Plant.” And I’ve carried that name ever since.
It wasn’t until I was three years old that I had my first severe reaction.
It only took one cashew to turn my lunchtime best friend into my nemesis. My parents, living in Monterey at the time, dosed me with Benadryl and rushed me to Cookeville Regional as fast as humanly possible. There the doctors diagnosed me with anaphylaxis: a severe allergic reaction that causes the throat to close. Every 3 minutes, a food allergy reaction sends someone to the emergency room.
I’ve lived with anaphylaxis for approximately twelve years now, and, luckily, I’ve only had one anaphylactic reaction. But with severe food allergies comes great caution and even greater precaution. Every time I leave the house I instantly grab my Epi-pen; it’s one of the only things that will save me if I have an anaphylactic reaction. An Epi-pen is a “shot” that contains a medication called epinephrine; it reverses the course of the allergic reaction once injected into the thigh. I always tug it around in my purse for my safety.
If I go somewhere, and I know that they are serving food, I constantly analyze the food and what people are touching. Cross contamination is my biggest fear: if someone eats nuts, then touches something that I touch, I could have a serious reaction from just touching it. I also check the labels on every packaged food, even the food I eat every day. Companies are constantly changing factories and this can change the risk of cross contamination. On the bottom of every list of ingredients is an allergy warning that lists every known allergen and possible allergen.
The constant worry and cautious mindset gets tiring. My whole existence revolves around what people are eating and what I’m ultimately avoiding. A lot of times it’s very hard to stay positive when the whole world seems to be against you. However with the help of my God, my family, and my friends, I have been able to find the silver lining in the rain clouds above my head. I believe that everyone and everything has a purpose, and having food allergies is just a part of my greater purpose. If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be the same person I am today.
School is probably the hardest obstacle to face in this endless battle against my allergies. I’ve found that many teachers and students have not been educated on food allergies, and they don’t understand the severity of them. Often, people think that if they stay away from me I’ll be fine. But having peanut butter across the room from me is like having a loaded gun in the room. It inspires the same anxiety and fear. You could say that my goal is to educate as much as I can, so that I, and the 15 million other Americans with food allergies, feel a little safer.
Having food allergies isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just difficult sometimes. If you know someone with food allergies, please be respectful. We don’t know all there is to know about food allergies, but there are research organizations working on finding a cure. If you wish to have more information on food allergies and what they are, you can go to the Food Allergy Network’s website (foodallergy.org).

I hope to be able to write more between the endless amount of home work I have and the limited free time I have.
Have a great day, you deserve it.

4-28-14 in Spanish Class

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(original manuscript )

Be Brave
enough to think
outside the cardboard
Box
Deny the world
the right to own
your thoughts.
Write outside the lines
and draw unusual things.
Turn the page
upside down.
Dare to create something worth
Being.
Ask questions that make
no sense?
We have NOTHING left to lose!
Neverland and
Wonderland are there for you!
We could beat on the desks they chain us to.
And paint the streets with Brilliant Colors.
let’s draw in the margins,
And write our own story,
Before THEY try to.

?

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Can you feel it?
The sunlight kisses your bare arms,
When you aren’t looking too closely.
And the clouds part in my head when
Your name is said.
Can you feel it?
The raindrops fall to be near you, and
To grace your skin.
But what’s really beautiful is what’s within.

*written on 3-23-14*